The Pain of Letting Go

 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”
Psalm 34:18 (NLT)

“I never prepared myself for this kind of pain – we were fine, until we weren’t.”

A woman described the emotional pain she felt after the break-up of her long-time relationship.  She said her life began to spiral downward after he abandoned her. “I never saw it coming, and I certainly never thought that our relationship would fall apart.” She said. Some version of that statement has been spoken over the years by women too numerous to count. We give our hearts to the significant man in our lives, and sometimes they are unequipped to reciprocate it, or they simply don’t appreciate it. We’re sorry that we put them in the prime number one spot undeservedly, and if we’re blatantly honest with ourselves, we’ll recognize that doing this was the origin of our hurt.

Psalm 146:3(ESV) says, "Put not your trust in princes, in a son of man, in whom there is no salvation." Human beings cannot save one another. We are unequipped to be someone’s everything, because that is a position that only the Lord can occupy. This truth must be anchored in us to the point that we do as Jesus Christ commands in Matthew 6:33(ESV), which is to “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” God is the only Supplier of our needs, and this is something many of us ignore when it comes to relationships with men.

In our significant relationships, even before we get married, we willingly and blindly head down the path of seeking the man first. We put their needs above all else, and we ignore what God has said in His Word. We do this, put the man’s needs over God’s desires for us, because there’s an emptiness in the hearts of every human being that has ever been born into this world. As women, we experience this emptiness in our hearts and convince ourselves that a man other than the person of Jesus Christ can fill the void. This isn’t possible, and for many of us it is a tough pill to swallow. We long to be loved totally and completely all our lives. We have this longing for love because God created us for relationship and fellowship with Him. This longing, this seemingly unquenchable thirst, can only be satisfied by Him and Him alone.

So, in truth, it’s not when the breakup happens that our hearts burn from missing the presence of the other person, it goes way back to the place where we first denied to fully open our hearts to the Lord Jesus Christ. The disappointment from the man that hurt us exposed the longing for true, lasting, and real love, but it is indeed old pain. Romans 8:22 says about the earth, “For we know that all creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time.” Since sin entered the world, all of creation is groaning, conveying its pain and despair for the absence of God’s glorious perfection that it once knew, and so it is with us.

When our souls realize that we’ve tried to use a substitute for the real love of Jesus Christ, for the first time we notice the absence of something that is overwhelmingly precious and is a treasure just for us. It is a wealth of richness that we can hardly imagine, but God tells us that it is in Him, and all we have to do is ask Him to receive it.

Colossians 2:10 (NLT) declares, “And ye are complete in Him, which is the head of all principality and power.” This truth is monumentally important to our emotional and mental health. You might know a woman that is either going through heartbreak or has endured it. Some of them say things like, “He is my everything, and I don’t know how to live without him…” or “He’s my life. I’m lost without him.” We say things like this when we’re not convinced of our identity in Christ. God created us to be whole and complete in Christ. When we begin relationships with this truth firmly anchored in our being, we will not look for a man to complete us, because this is something he simply cannot do.

We should never trust someone else’s love more than we trust in God’s love, truth, and provision. He says we are complete in Christ, and He, our Creator, is the definitive authority on the subject. In truth, losing the love of another person should never be our undoing. If it is, it means that we have idolized someone, and this is never good. Getting over the hurt requires us to open our eyes, and most importantly, open our hearts to Jesus Christ as we never have before. He invites us in Matthew 11:28-30 to come to him with our brokenness, and he will give us comfort and peace.   

Let go and let God! Surrender the pain you feel over the man that caused you unhappiness or is no longer a part of your life. Yes, it may hurt for little while, but the swelling will go down as you allow the love of Christ to fill up your empty places. Choose to honor your completeness in Christ more than you do the pain. You can’t help the fact that the man chose not to honor you as God’s treasure, but you can honor yourself that way. Verbally declare the truth that you are more than a conqueror because Christ loves you (Romans 8:37). Declare that you live in his peace and love (Philippians 4:7), and you can do all things through Christ because he gives you strength (Philippians 4:13). Do this as often as you can and pray continually. God will make it so that the days ahead of you will be far better than those behind you. So have faith in Him and thank Him for loving and healing you by His power and grace. ■    

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

“The Pain of Letting Go”, written by Kim for https://rescuefromdomesticviolence.blogspot.com© 2022. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.