Leaving the Past Behind

 

Ecclesiastes 7:9-12(NLT)
“9 Control your temper, for anger labels you a fool. 10 Don’t long for “the good old days.” This is not wise. 11 Wisdom is even better when you have money. Both are a benefit as you go through life. 12 Wisdom and money can get you almost anything, but only wisdom can save your life.”

Angela was mandated by the courts to enter an anger management program. She physically assaulted her husband in a domestic dispute, and the incident resulted in her being taken away in handcuffs by the authorities. She received a restraining order with no contact with her husband. At the time, she thought this was one of his sneakiest and most damaging manipulations. He would never entertain physical violence, although had he chosen, he might have easily overpowered her physically. A very intelligent man, Angela’s husband was masterful with mental and emotional manipulation. He held a grudge and wanted to put Angela in her place. When she slapped him because of his affair, he called the police.

It was one of the lowest points in Angela’s life. She knew better and was embarrassed and ashamed. She also thought that he should have been the one in anger management, but she discovered a lot about herself in these mandated classes. Self-discipline and patience are required for Godly living and learning to control outbursts of anger can go a long way towards our own personal healing and spiritual growth. Angela learned to let go of old negative patterns, and to stop looking back to the past and allowing it to define her present and future reality.

Many people look back at their lives and think about the good old days, before they faced adversity and before they made catastrophic mistakes. We don’t think about the reality that God covered us in a tremendous amount of grace, because even in the good old days, we had behaviors and attitudes that might have created the environment for the adversities and mistakes we later encountered.

We want to go back to those good old days, but the truth is that we can’t bring anything from our past into the present and future, and if we try, we’ll be stuck, and this isn’t what God wants. Ecclesiastes 7:10(NLT) tells us, “Don’t long for “the good old days.” This is not wise.” With this wisdom, our Heavenly Father is warning us about our attitude towards His goodness and grace. When we put God first in all we do, and we seek Him first before any other person or thing, He will reward us. There isn’t anything better than living in Christ. With him, life gets better and better, from faith to greater faith. Our attitude of gratitude must indicate we understand this.

The reality of where He has brought us and what He has brought us through is greater than anything in our pasts. The events and situations of the past will never be again. This is a very challenging truth for humans to accept but accept it we must if fulfillment and joy in life are our goals. We must stop ourselves from focusing on the past, because it slows us down, and it can keep us from moving forward.

In the Book of Genesis, we learn about the record of Lot, Abraham’s nephew. He and his family moved to Sodom and Gomorrah, and this was a dastardly wicked place. So much so, that the Lord destroyed it, but God spared Lot, because this was Abraham’s request. An angel of the Lord had given Lot and his family firm instructions and told them that as they escaped, they were not to look back. Lot’s wife didn’t follow this instruction. Genesis 19:26(ESV) states, “But Lot's wife, behind him, looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.”

Some say she met with such a tragic end because of her disobedience, but we can’t stop there. The directive from the angel was purposeful. Looking back is often a signal that we’re not prepared to embrace the newness ahead. Looking back demonstrates that our hearts are clinging to what has passed. It means we’re stuck, and sometimes tragically so, like a pillar of salt.

The Apostle Paul said in Philippians 3:13(NLT), “No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.” This is the mentality and attitude we must have as believers in the Lord Jesus Christ. God doesn’t want the problems, regrets, and situations of the past to keep us stuck in things like anger, shame, and resentment. When we are stuck and haven’t healed to the point where the past no longer impedes us, we might bring bad habits and behaviors of the past into the new life that Christ has made available to us. This is what Angela did.

She was emotionally and mentally exhausted. She was spiritually malnourished, and her faith in God was not where it is today. Angela was shocked at her actions, but when there’s deep and unresolved anger, the only solution is to allow the love of God in those deep places. There was no excuse for Angela’s use of physical violence. She knows now that her husband’s infidelity and disregard triggered a level of anger that she had seen playout in her own parent’s marriage. She needed to break this cycle through the love of God in Christ.

We might fantasize about what it would have been like to not have the pain and heartache we’ve experienced, but this doesn’t alter the reality of our past. We can’t change our pasts. They are gone forever. We can only change our right now so that our futures look brighter and clearer with the help of the love of Christ.

When we know better, we have the tools to do and live better. We need to know that it’s not only possible to leave the past behind, God requires it. He has given us a new life in Jesus Christ, and this means we have a new nature of love within. God will not force us to choose His love. He will not force us to leave rage, anger, resentment, and hurt in the past, and embrace the love of Christ which makes us stronger. But He wants us to know that He created us out of His love to live in His love. He created us to walk in the light and liberty of Christ. If we will humble ourselves before Him and trust in His love, He will help us to transform from the inside out. We’ll get to a place where the mistakes of the past will pale in comparison to the person we’ve become through His love. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

“Leaving the Past Behind”, written by Kim for https://rescuefromdomesticviolence.blogspot.com© 2022. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.

 

 

 

Keep the Courage

 

Deuteronomy 28:13(NLT)
"If you listen to these commands of the LORD your God that I am giving you today, and if you carefully obey them, the LORD will make you the head and not the tail, and you will always be on top and never at the bottom."

Trust the truth within, don’t look back – keep going forward.

Abusive relationships are about someone trying to steal your power. This can do a number on your mental and emotional well-being. Once you make the decision to leave an abusive relationship, it's common to frequently travel down the path of second thoughts. You've made a good decision by leaving the biggest mistake of your life in the rear-view mirror, but repeatedly, you question your decision. We do this because our head is convinced, but our hearts aren't yet on board. That's because they haven't fully healed. You feel as though you've got just enough courage to make it one day at a time, but it's tough being alone. Loneliness makes us second guess our decisions probably more than anything else. It makes us listen to the advice of people that don't have the best track record of common sense and sound judgment. They don't understand the courage it took for you to leave.

Whatever it is you’re facing today, at this very moment, remind yourself to keep up the courage and stay true to your faith in God. Remain strong and never forget what it took for you to get this far. Don’t look back. Understand that this is what many of us do. Many women who have been in toxic or abusive relationships allow their gut instincts to take a back seat. They make decisions with their hearts and deny what their heads are telling them. Jeremiah 17:9(NLT) offers God's sound wisdom on this subject. It tells us,“The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?" God wants us to know that if we haven't trained our hearts with the wisdom of His Word, then we can't make our hearts the governing authority over our lives. 

We can't always do what our hearts tell us. Society has a completely opposite notion. It tells us that we can't help what our hearts feel, and we can't help who our hearts love. If that were true, then surely every person that has ever lived would fall madly in love with God. John 3:16 tells us that He loved us so much that He offered the life of His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, as a sacrifice for our sins. If we have no control over who we choose to love, then surely God would have preprogrammed us to love Him automatically and unconditionally, the way we should; because He is good, holy, and magnificent beyond words. But this isn't the case. God gave us free-will agency. We choose who we will love. It's our choice, and if we can fall in love, we can choose to fall out of love, especially if the person is hurting us.

Love is a commitment. It's a commitment to honor and respect someone to such a degree that you place their welfare over your own. This is the way God wants us all to love and honor the significant person in our lives. 1Corinthians 13:5 tells us that love doesn't push, shove, or demand its own way. Love only wants what is best for the other person. God has emphasized this truth countless times in His Word. This is what He means in Deuteronomy 28:13. He doesn't want us to be egotistical or arrogant, but He wants us to know that we are His treasures. We are valuable to Him, and therefore, we must be valuable to ourselves. 

We're the head and not the tail. We're above and not beneath. This tells us that we are favored by God through Jesus Christ, and this is how we should be treated. Philippians 4:13 tells us that we are more than conquerors through Jesus Christ. What do conquerors do? They conquer! They overcome! This is your destiny! Even if it is in the smallest way, once you've gotten to a place where you have enough strength and confidence to believe this, make sure you keep confessing and telling yourself that you are more than a conqueror in Christ! Remind yourself continually that your future is much better and brighter than your past. Keep looking ahead and be thankful to God for what He has already done for your life. We are God’s masterpieces! It is not His Will for you to be hurt, mistreated, depressed, suicidal, or hopeless. He wants everyone to be happy and blessed, and when you begin to trust this, you'll see your path to peace and happiness so much clearer. 

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Keep the Courage”, written by Kim for https://rescuefromdomesticviolence.blogspot.com© 2022. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.