He Didn’t Say “I’m Sorry!”

Psalm 27:10-14 (NIV)

10 Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me. 11 Teach me your way, Lord; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors. 12 Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, spouting malicious accusations. 13 I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. 14 Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

Amelia and Gregory had just gotten engaged and as they began planning their wedding, Gregory asked who she wanted to walk her down the aisle. Without even blinking an eye, she said “My father”. Gregory was surprised because she had never mentioned her father. Amelia was the daughter of a prominent business owner in Washington D.C. Before his success, when he was younger, he and Amelia’s mother fell in love. Their relationship became strained during her pregnancy and they never married. 

With the help of her grandmother and aunts, she was raised by her mother. Eventually, Amelia’s father married someone else and they had children of their own. As she grew up, her mother didn’t talk much about her father, fearing that it would hurt Amelia to find out that he had abandoned her and in fact had another family. In her early twenties and with dreams of him walking her down the aisle on her wedding day, Amelia decided to try to connect with him.  

One afternoon, Amelia finally decided to pursue the leads she had gathered from years of quietly searching for clues. Some time ago, she came across a newspaper article her mother kept in her bible and an old love letter her father had written to her mother when Amelia was an infant. She searched his name online and finally ended up with a possible phone number and address, but she never imagined the decision whether to actually reach out to him would be as difficult as it was. 

For some people it’s tough to admit that the emotional neglect of a parent during childhood can lead to emotional issues as adults. The fear of being rejected looms large, and because of it, many of us would rather not address the pain. The emptiness can feel so deep that you believe only the love of the parent can fill it. The reality is that all of us have unresolved issues of pain, and despite what we think no human being has the power or capacity to take this pain away, but Jesus Christ offers us a solution. He tells us in Matthew 11:28-30(NLT), “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

Psalm 27:10 teaches us that even when our fathers and mothers disappoint us, we can take refuge in God’s love. Hebrews 13:5 says that He will never leave or forsake us. His love is never ending, and His mercy endures forever. 

Amelia was obsessed with learning why her father didn’t pursue a relationship with her. Did he love her? The need to know the answers finally gave her the courage to call him. It was nerve wracking at first, but they talked and decided to meet in person. She felt better for having reached out, but although he said he wanted to build a relationship with her going forward, he never said he was sorry for not being in her life. 

She realized that no matter how hurtful it is, there are some things we have to let go. Sometimes what we envision in our heads doesn’t line up with reality, but Heavenly Father will never disappoint us. He will lovingly father us through the abandonment, disappointment, and sadness that our biological parents sometimes cause. Through the whole experience of meeting her dad, her appreciation deepened for the love of God that was demonstrated by the family that made numerous sacrifices and raised her all those years. She decided to have to her mother walk her down the aisle. ■

New International Version (NIV)
Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“He Didn’t Say “I’m Sorry!”, written by Kim for https://rescuefromdomesticviolence.blogspot.com© 2020. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.