Monday, October 19, 2026

Don’t Be Ashamed of Emotional Struggles

 



Jesus Christ said in John 8:32(NKJV), “And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” I sometimes wonder if people that have read this awesome verse actually believe it. Many think that Jesus Christ was only talking about what you and I consider to be spiritual information and knowledge. They believe knowledge and information about all other subjects is left out of John 8:32. This isn’t the case. There is only one truth, and when we know it and apply it to any area of our lives, the Master tells us that we will be made free. When we know God’s Will and Word, we can walk in the liberty that Christ won for us when he sacrificed his life on the cross. When we don’t know God’s Will and Word, Hosea 4:6 tells us that we can be destroyed. Many that are struggling emotionally and in various other ways continue to suffer because they either don’t know or will not trust God’s truth.

It wasn’t that long ago that most of society assumed that if you were a believer and follower of the Lord Jesus Christ, you couldn’t be sad or depressed. Folks just believed that Christians were supposed to walk around with smiles on their faces all the time, and that we were immune to having bad days. It doesn’t take much to realize that this kind of thinking and assumption caused many believers to deny they were hurting. They were suffering emotionally and went deeper into their feelings of isolation and pain because they felt shame about it. They hid their sadness because many of them felt they didn’t have anyone they could talk to or who would understand. The reality is that emotional pain can’t be hidden for long. It will find a way to manifest itself outwardly, and when it does, we’re surprised by how it makes us behave and by the devastation our unresolved pain leaves in its wake.

Being a born-again Christian doesn’t exempt us from emotional pain, but it does require that we comprehend the knowledge God has given us to take authority over our emotional lives. God tells us in Romans 10:9-10(NIV), “9 If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.” In this passage, our loving and powerful Heavenly Father gives us His very plain and clear directive, and it will change our lives for all eternity. He tells us how to become born-again spiritually through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Following Romans 10:9-10 is how we become a child of God and receive the gift of eternal life.

God created us in His image. He is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. He created human beings as three-part beings as well. We are spirit, soul, and body. 1Thessalonians 5:23(NIV) says, “May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.” You and I have a human spirit, a human soul, and a human body. The Holy Spirit is God’s Spirit. Our human spirit is our spirit. Without God’s Spirit living inside our human spirit, you and I cannot have the kind of fellowship and relationship that Heavenly Father wants. God communes with what He is. He placed His Spirit, the Holy Spirit, inside Adam and Eve, so they could have fellowship with Heavenly Father, Spirit to spirit. This is what He desires with us.

When Adam and Eve disobeyed God’s Word, they lost their holiness. When this happened, their connection to God through His Spirit was severed. The Holy Spirit had brought life to their human spirits, but once they disobeyed God, they died spiritually. Our Lord and Savior rescued us from this terrible fate. Because of his life, sacrifice, and resurrection, our human spirit, once dead because of Adam’s and Eve’s sin, can be recreated. This recreation of our human spirit happens through the new birth experience, but here’s the piece of information that slips by many people; the soul is not recreated. The soul is completely and utterly under our self-governance, and if we don’t know how to bring the soul under the submission and guidance of the Holy Spirit, we can really get into trouble.

The most important thing that you and I must comprehend is that the work of the soul is not something we do alone. The Holy Spirit that indwells us is our Teacher, Comforter and Guide. He leads us into all truth, and he cannot make a mistake. He is perfect beyond our comprehension of the word. Our job, quite frankly, is to let the Holy Spirit be at work. We must do this with our emotions, thoughts, and words.

Both the mind and heart are parts of the soul. The mind is the thinking center, and the heart is the feeling center. God commands us in Ephesians 4:23 to renew our minds and think like Jesus Christ, and He commands us in Proverbs 4:23 to guard our hearts above all else. To guard is to be careful and watchful about what goes in our hearts and what comes out of them. It can’t be lost on us that changing our hearts and renewing our minds are spiritual disciplines, and spiritual disciplines take practice. They require diligence to keep them up.

God tells us to change the way we think and to change the way we speak because doing this reroutes some things internally, and most importantly, these practices of changing the way we think and speak will cut off opportunities for satan to have entrance into our lives. Heavenly Father commands us to put on the mind of Christ. He tells us in Philippians 4:8(NLT), “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” You and I are commanded to capture every thought that goes against the way God has told us to think, and we are to then discipline that thought and make it obey what Christ says.

When you and I become adamant about changing our thoughts—when we stop thinking and doing the same things we’ve always done, we will give the Holy Spirit the room that he requires to do a work within. This takes time, but we absolutely must begin the process of renewing our minds because the Father has commanded it. We can’t say any ol’ thing just because everyone else speaks and says those things. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and we must be ever so careful to speak life into situations. When we change our attitudes and have confidence in what God says, our emotional struggles will lighten and through God’s Holy Spirit, we will see the light where darkness once was. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

“Don’t Be Ashamed of Emotional Struggles”, written by Kim for https://rescuefromdomesticviolence.blogspot.com © 2026. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.

Monday, October 12, 2026

What’s Leading You, Faith or Fear?

 


Finding God's Truth When Fear Has Become a Way of Life

We serve a Great Big Wonderful God! He's our Heavenly Father, and He loves us with a love that is greater than anything this world can offer. He created us to know Him, trust Him, and walk in the truth of His Word. But when you've been living in an abusive relationship, trusting God can become a struggle that you never imagined you'd have. You can know that God loves you and still wake up every morning wondering what kind of day you're going to have. Will there be peace in your home today, or will something you say or do set off another argument? Will you be able to relax, or will you spend the day watching someone's mood, choosing your words carefully, and trying to keep everything from falling apart? When you've lived this way long enough, fear can become such a familiar part of your life that you hardly recognize how much it's controlling your decisions.

God never intended for us to live under the control of another person's anger, threats, or cruelty. In 2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT), the Apostle Paul tells us, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” This is a wonderful promise, but we must understand it correctly. Paul wasn't telling believers that they would never experience fear. Fear is a human response to danger, and sometimes it warns us that something is terribly wrong. The fear you experience when someone threatens, intimidates, or harms you is not the same as refusing to trust God. You can be afraid and still have faith. You can be trembling on the inside and still be holding on to the promises of our Heavenly Father.

Jesus Christ tells us in John 8:32 (NLT), “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” When our Lord spoke these words, He was teaching about the freedom that comes from knowing Him and continuing in His Word. He was speaking about freedom from the bondage of sin. But His words also remind us of something important when we're dealing with abuse: God's truth helps us recognize the lies we've been told. An abusive person may tell you that you're worthless, that nobody else will ever love you, or that everything wrong in the relationship is your fault. Some even misuse Scripture to convince their wives that God expects them to accept mistreatment without question. These things are not the truth of God's Word. Jesus Christ does not teach us that love gives one person permission to control, humiliate, threaten, or harm another.

One of the most difficult things about an abusive relationship is that fear can begin to shape the way you think about yourself. You may have once been a confident person who spoke freely, made decisions, and enjoyed being around other people. Now you find yourself second-guessing almost everything. You may hesitate before making a purchase, visiting a friend, or even answering a telephone call because you're worried about the consequences. Little by little, your world becomes smaller. And sometimes, because you love the person who is hurting you, you keep hoping that things will change. You remember the good times, the apologies, and the promises. You want to believe that the person you fell in love with is still there. Those feelings are real, and they can make it difficult to recognize just how much the abuse has affected your life.

But here's something we need to understand. Having faith in God does not mean pretending that your circumstances are different from what they are. Faith doesn't require you to ignore threatening behavior, excuse repeated cruelty, or place yourself in danger to prove that you trust the Lord. Proverbs 22:3 (NLT) tells us, “A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions. The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences.” God has given us wisdom, and He expects us to use it. Recognizing danger and taking reasonable steps to protect yourself is not an act of unbelief. There are times when wisdom tells us to seek help, establish boundaries, make a safety plan, or remove ourselves from a dangerous situation. These decisions can require tremendous courage, especially when the person causing the harm is someone we love.

We must also remember that God looks at the heart. In Matthew 12:33, Jesus taught that a tree is known by its fruit. We can apply this principle when examining the behavior of someone who claims to love us. Love is not established simply because a person says the words, “I love you.” We must look at how that person treats us. Does their behavior demonstrate kindness, patience, self-control, and respect? Or is there a continuing pattern of intimidation, manipulation, humiliation, and harm? An apology may sound sincere, but repentance involves more than words. A person who genuinely recognizes the wrong they've done must take responsibility for their behavior and demonstrate meaningful, lasting change. Forgiveness does not automatically restore trust, and it does not obligate anyone to remain in an unsafe relationship.

Psalm 56:3 (NLT) says, “But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you.” I love the honesty of this verse because the psalmist didn't say that he never experienced fear. He acknowledged that he was afraid, and in the middle of that fear, he turned his heart toward God. This is something we can learn to do as well. You don't have to deny what you're feeling to draw closer to the Lord. Tell Him about the fear, the confusion, the disappointment, and the pain. Ask Him for wisdom to recognize what is happening and courage to take the steps necessary to protect your well-being.

Our Heavenly Father does not abandon His children when they're frightened, confused, or struggling to find their way. Psalm 34:18 (NLT) reminds us, “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” If fear has become a way of life for you, don't confuse that fear with a failure of faith. Begin by allowing God's truth to remind you of your worth, your dignity, and His love for you. Ask Him to guide you toward the help and wisdom you need. You may not know today what every decision should be, and you don't have to make them all at once. But you can begin to recognize that being loved should not mean living in constant fear. You belong to God, and no one has the right to use fear and cruelty to rule over the life He has given you. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. 

“What's Leading You, Faith or Fear?”, written by Kim for https://rescuefromdomesticviolence.blogspot.com © 2026. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.

Monday, September 28, 2026

Don’t Faint in Your Mind

 

When the Relationship Ends, But the Hurt Remains

I had a conversation with a wonderful woman who had experienced several relationships that did not end in the way she had hoped. Her heart was still hurting. One of the men she had dated was abusive, and she told me that deep down, the experience had left scars that make her fearful when things in her relationships don’t go as planned. She can become overly defensive, or she shuts down. It’s troubling for her because she doesn’t understand why she continues to behave this way.

She knows that the man she is dealing with today is not the man who hurt her, but sometimes her responses seem to come from a place deeper than the present moment. Something happens, and she finds herself protecting herself before she has even had time to understand what is happening. She believes this may be one of the reasons her relationships continue to fail, and she has become weary of even trying anymore.

As we talked, I found myself thinking about how often we expect the effects of an experience to disappear simply because the experience itself is over. But sometimes the relationship ends before the wounds do. The person may be gone, the circumstances may have changed, and life may have moved forward, but the heart can still be responding to what it learned when it was hurt. Yet God tells us in Psalm 147:3 (NLT), “He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.” There are wounds we carry that we don’t always recognize or understand. But God knows they are there. He sees what happened to us, He sees what it left behind, and He knows exactly where healing is needed. We don’t have to pretend the wounds aren’t there. We can bring them to Him and allow Him to heal what we may not know how to heal ourselves.

But none of this means there is something wrong with her. And it doesn’t mean she is destined to repeat the same patterns for the rest of her life. And it doesn't mean she is doomed to repeat the same patterns for the rest of her life. It may simply mean there are places in her heart that still need healing. Sometimes we don’t realize how deeply something affected us until something happens and we react more strongly than the situation seems to call for.

I believe this is one of the reasons God cares so deeply about our healing. He isn't looking at us and asking, “What's wrong with you?” He knows what happened. He knows what we carried away from it. But He also knows that what happened to us does not have to define what comes next. God tells us in Isaiah 43:18–19 (NLT), “But forget all that—it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?” He knows how to lead us into the kind of healing that allows us to stop living from what happened to us and begin responding from who we are becoming in Him.

Healing doesn’t mean that what happened never happened. It doesn’t mean we forget, excuse, or pretend that the hurt wasn’t real. It means that, over time, what happened no longer gets to have the same authority over how we see ourselves, how we respond to others, or what we believe is possible for our lives. There may still be moments when something from the past gets stirred up. But those moments don’t have to determine what happens next. We don't have to faint in our minds and decide that because something happened before, it will always happen again.

Philippians 1:6 (NLT) reminds us, “And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished.” I love that because healing is a process, and God is not finished with us. If you have been hurt in a relationship, you don't have to be ashamed of the places that still need healing. Bring them to God. Let Him heal what was wounded and teach you how to respond from who you are becoming in Christ. Don't faint in your mind. What hurt you may explain some of your struggles, but it does not get to decide where God takes you from here. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Don’t Faint in Your Mind”, written by Kim for https://rescuefromdomesticviolence.blogspot.com © 2026. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.


Tuesday, September 22, 2026

Why Do I Keep Going Back?

 


One of the hardest questions a woman may ask herself after leaving an abusive relationship is, “Why do I keep going back?” Sometimes she goes back because she still loves him. Sometimes she goes back because she remembers the good times and believes the person she fell in love with is still somewhere underneath the hurt. Sometimes there are children, finances, nowhere else to live, or the fear of starting over. And sometimes he apologizes, promises that things will be different, and for a while, they are. None of this means she is stupid or weak. Abuse can create a complicated cycle that is difficult to break, especially when love and fear have become mixed together. We have to be careful not to look at a woman who has returned and ask, “What is wrong with her?” A better question may be, “What has she been carrying that we cannot see?”

Jesus sees what other people can’t. He sees the fear, the confusion, the hope, the disappointment, and the part of her that still wants to believe things can be different. He doesn’t need her to pretend that everything is okay. Psalm 34:18 (NLT) says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” There is something powerful about knowing that God doesn’t turn His back on us when we are hurting or when we have made decisions we wish we could change. Jesus meets us right where we are, but He loves us too much to leave us there. His love doesn’t require us to remain in a place where we are continually being harmed.

Sometimes a woman keeps going back because she has begun to believe that this is the best she can expect from love. After being criticized, controlled, threatened, or made to feel worthless for long enough, it can become difficult to remember who you were before all of that. But Jesus tells us the truth about who we are. John 8:36 (NKJV) says, “Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.” Freedom doesn’t mean that every part of your life will suddenly become easy. It may take time, help, counseling, practical support, and people who will walk beside you. But freedom begins when you stop believing that someone else's treatment of you determines your worth. You belong to Christ, and what He says about you matters more than what an abusive person has said about you.

And if you have gone back before, you don’t have to believe that you have ruined your chance to make a different choice. You can ask God for wisdom, courage, and direction for what comes next. James 1:5 (NLT) says, “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you.” Sometimes God helps us directly through His Word and the Holy Spirit, and sometimes He helps us through other people—trusted family members, godly counselors, advocates, pastors, or others who can help us see clearly and make a safe plan. You do not have to figure everything out in one day. But you can begin telling the truth about what is happening and asking God to show you your next step.

If you keep going back, please don't let shame convince you that Jesus has given up on you. He hasn't. But His grace is not an invitation to keep returning to what is destroying you. Jesus is not asking you to prove your love by enduring abuse. He is calling you toward truth, wisdom, and life. Psalm 147:3 (NLT) says, “He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.” Healing may take time, and the road may not look the same for every woman. But you can bring every part of your life to Jesus—the parts you're proud of and the parts you wish you could change. You can ask Him for wisdom today, take the next safe step, and trust Him to meet you there. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. 

“Why Do I Keep Going Back”, written by Kim for https://DomesticAbuseAwareness.org© 2026. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.

 

Don’t Be Ashamed of Emotional Struggles

  Jesus Christ said in John 8:32(NKJV), “And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” I sometimes wonder if people that...