Missed Red Flags

 

Ecclesiastes 6:10(NLT)
“Everything has already been decided. It was known long ago what each person would be. So there’s no use arguing with God about your destiny.”

Eric filed for divorce from Mona one week before Thanksgiving. They had dated for five years and had only been married for three. Prior to them tying the knot, the relationship had its problems and went through a series of on-and-off again several times. Their families were skeptical that the marriage would last and were surprised it had made it as long as it did. Eric never wanted to get married, but finally succumbed when Mona forced the issue with an ultimatum. His frustration and exhaustion with her constant accusations has reached its peak. Repeatedly, He’s said to her, “I might as well cheat because no matter what I do or say, you will never trust me.” Mona’s insecurities had been a problem from the very beginning, and now Eric no longer wants to be in the marriage. 

He had been emotionally unavailable while they dated, and Mona spent most of that time trying to pull a reaction out of him. A smidge better at communicating his feelings the last few years, he was trying to be better because he loved Mona and wanted their marriage to work. He even started to give her cards on special occasions, but he felt that nothing he did was ever enough. Eric was very handsome and constant glaring from other women continued to cause problems in the marriage. Even so, Mona is adamant to make it work. She refuses to cooperate with the divorce. 

Emotional unavailability and insecurities are just a few of the issues that we often allow to go unresolved in our minds and hearts. We will bring these heavies into our significant relationships where they will ultimately wreak havoc for both people. For a person that is determined to preserve their well-being and partner well, these things are red flags. When we’re paying attention, they warn us about impending danger ahead. 

Ephesians 4:22-23(NLT) tells us, “22 throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. 23 Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. 24 Put on your new nature, created to be like God--truly righteous and holy.”  When it becomes apparent to us that our behavior is causing our partner to be unhappy, we are to do what our Heavenly Father tells us in Ephesians 4:22-23. Looking within ourselves and being careful not to levy blame on the significant person in our lives is very important. It’s our responsibility to throw off the aspect of our thoughts and behavior that is causing pain for them and for us. The way that we do this is to change the way we think by reading God’s Word and lining up our thought with what He says is right. We must also pray to Him often in the powerful name of Jesus Christ, and we must take the necessary step to follow his example of love in a greater way.

Your destiny in Christ is to have a more than abundant life that is filled with God’s blessings. He will back every step that we take to change from hurt and pain to love and light. He tells us in 1Thessalonians 5:5(NLT), “For you are all children of the light and of the day; we don't belong to darkness and night.” We are His children of the light, and He expects that His love, peace, joy, and kindness will saturate our hearts as we cling to the example of Christ. In Matthew 6:33(NLT), Jesus teaches, “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” This is God’s promise, and His way works best. When we humble ourselves and seek His help and seek Him as our Source and Creator, He will guide and keep us on the path of His blessings.

Spiritually, Mona missed the red flags of her own heart. She didn’t pay attention to her relationship with God and wasn’t concerned with pleasing Him. Instead, she was consumed with fear, obsession, and anxiety about Eric. She didn’t allow herself to enjoy their union for fear of losing it. As God’s children, we don’t have to wait until we're at the point of losing a precious relationship to pay attention to those internal signals of impending danger. Anxiety, phobias, and anger often lead us down a path of regret. The best choice is always one of praying, seeking, and pleasing God. Proverbs 22:4 tells us that the reward of true humility and reverence for God is riches, honor, and long life! Give yourself the gift of humbling and honoring our Heavenly Father. He’s worthy of our praise and will reward us with unity in our marriages that is pleasing to Him and fulfilling for us as well. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Missed Red Flags”, written by Kim for https://rescuefromdomesticviolence.blogspot.com© 2023. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.