Matters of the Heart

Psalm 34:18(NLT)
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed."

I trusted my man with my life, and instead of having my back, he took advantage of my love and trust. I won’t ever trust a man again.

When our hearts are bruised and abandoned in a relationship, it’s common to feel that the man has taken advantage of our love and violated our trust. The sting of a situation like this can linger and make us bitter, so much so that some of us vow to never trust a man again. Some of us may also allow this heartache to interfere with our relationship with Heavenly Father. We play the blame game and blame God for allowing us to get into such a hurtful situation. We think that He should have warned us or kept us from ever meeting this man. We must come to the reality that blaming anyone for our broken heart isn’t going to lessen the pain. It only keeps us from examining the larger issue, which is why we attract relationships with people that continually disappoint us.

Relationships reflect how we view ourselves. This is a big dose of truth that many are not able to digest. We’ve been told things like, “we can’t help who we fall in love with” or “the heart wants what the heart wants.” Myths like these convey a heart that is out of control. They convey that people were not created with the ability to be disciplined about matters of the heart, but God’s Word says the opposite.

God is not to blame for our heartache and pain, and it is very important for us to correct this in our hearts and minds. Our Heavenly Father is a loving God. 1John 4:16 affirms that God is love, and that we can know and rely on the love that He has for us all, because His love will not fail. This verse also says that all who live in God’s love also live in Him, and He lives in them. This is tremendously good news! Living in God’s love gives us the foundation to love others with confidence, because it shows that we’re not conjuring up our own ideas about love; that wouldn’t work. To love through God means that we shift from our brand of love to His.

Our brand of love usually includes a bit of selfishness and sin, but God’s love is perfect! When we love through Him, we don’t make the mistake of putting the person or anything else ahead of God. This understanding is crucial. Proverbs 4:23 tells us to guard our hearts with God’s Word because the issues of life flow from the heart. This means that even when we’re not aware of it, our hearts are attracting or repelling situations and people. When God’s love is number one in our hearts, we have the capacity to love from a very good place—a place of His strength, and this can only help us. And not only this, we will have the spiritual depth and maturity to maintain the relationships that are important to us.

Living in God’s love means that we live according to the example of Christ. Ephesians 5:2(NLT) urges us, “Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.” Many of us get away from his example when it comes to the significant person in our lives. We hardly ever consider this man’s spiritual well-being. We don’t think about God’s plan for his life or how our actions may be harming his spiritual growth in the long run. We don’t think about the possibility that our connection to this person may have been his only opportunity to see the love of Christ, and to see it operating in someone that has no agenda other than to be a blessing to his spiritual walk.

2Timothy 1:7(ESV) tells us, “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” Sometimes we come to the table with many insecurities. We fear we will not be loved adequately, that if we don’t do certain things, the man will withhold his love or not want to be with us. The man should never call the shots when it comes how we respond to God’s love and Word. If we allow this, we will not be satisfied with the results. God is letting us know that 2Timothy 1:7 is our reality, and we must trust this. To demonstrate that we have faith in this truth in God’s Word, our conduct must be rooted in God’s love, power, and self-control. When it is, we are sufficiently guarding our hearts and allowing God the room to bless our relationships.

It’s a spiritually immature move to want the rewards but not do the things required to receive them. This is the kind of mindset that leads to confusion, disappointment, and heartbreak. Yes, we’re going to make a ton of mistakes in our significant relationships. We’ve done it in the past, and we’ll most likely make a few doozies in the future, but through it all, our hearts must be loyal to God. We must be motivated out of our love for Him. Relationships do not give us license to chuck our responsibilities to the faith. They were created by God to foster our relationship with Him. We don’t have to be emotionally out-of-control, that’s not love. Instead, we should always make it a priority to pray for God’s guidance and remain humble to Him. He will teach us to walk in His power and love, and to be spiritually disciplined about matters of the heart.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

 “Matters of the Heart”, written by Kim for https://rescuefromdomesticviolence.blogspot.com© 2022. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.