“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” Matthew 6:33(NLT)
“I’m desperately trying to save
our relationship, but he acts like he doesn’t love me anymore.”
When
we’re facing a crisis, such as being abandoned by the person we love most, our
tendency may be to try to hold on to them for dear life. The emotional pain of
losing that person is more than we think we can bear, and we become desperate. Many
of us will do just about anything to save the relationship. We’ll do things we
never thought we would, because losing this person’s love is more than
rejection; it feels like we’re losing a piece of ourselves.
Betrayal
is an ugly monster. And do you know what takes the hardest hit? Your
self-esteem. To realize that the person you love no longer loves you or wants
to be with you anymore, it cuts deep. There aren’t too many things in life that
are more disappointing and hurtful, but as hurtful as these feelings are, when
we can’t seem to shake them loose, they are revealing some key information that
is vital to our healing. The first thing our pain reveals is how much we loved
the person that hurt us.
1John
4:16(NLT) says, “We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in
his love. God is love,
and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.” Love is God
and God is love. He is our Creator, and Genesis 1:27 tells us that He made us
in His image. We are made from God’s love, and it is a very wonderful thing to
know that we can love others deeply. Our pain tells us that we made a lot of space
in our hearts for another person. We cared about them, and even though they
decided not to appreciate our love in the way we wanted, our hearts were open
to give love, and not everyone can say this.
The
second thing our heartache reveals is how much we love ourselves. Heartache is
supposed to hurt, but this hurt shouldn’t consume us or keep us from bouncing back
with greater faith and wisdom. If we are pining away for weeks on end, it
reveals that more strength and love at the foundation of who we are is needed.
In order for us to become better and wiser, the strength that we need at our
cores must come from our love of Jesus Christ. His love builds us up in our
weak places, so that we love ourselves and others in a way that is in line with
God’s Will and purpose for our lives.
Philippians 4:13(NLT) informs us, “For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” This is not a myth. It is the truth, and it should be our reality. We are empowered by God through the Spirit of Christ that lives within us. Our responsibility is to grow in this strength. When it becomes apparent to us that a situation exceeds our ability to weather storms and bounce back with resiliency, we must take action. We need the strength, wisdom, and healing that can only come from our Lord and Savior.
When we are injured emotionally, we must not sink into an abyss of pain. Instead, we must increase our time with God through prayer, fasting, and studying His Word. This is how we prepare for greater blessings, and it signals the heavens and everything beneath them that we will not make the same mistakes twice. So, the bottom line is that our commitment to keep ourselves thriving spiritually through Christ is the true measure of the love we have for ourselves and others.
The
third and most important piece of information that devastating pain can reveal
is the degree to which we’ve prioritized a relationship with a person over our relationship
with God. Jesus Christ commands us in Mark 12:30(NLT), “And you must love
the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all
your strength.” Loving God with all that we are is God’s requirement. It
isn’t negotiable. Jesus Christ also commands us in Matthew 6:33 to seek God and
His righteousness above all else. So, the standard is very clear. God must
forever and always be our priority. When He is, we can be confident that no
matter what we face, we will always have victory in Christ.
Ephesians
3:19(NLT) expresses God’s desire for all of us. It states, “May you
experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then
you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes
from God.” Our Heavenly Father wants us to walk powerfully in Christ every
moment of each day, and He has made this possible through Jesus Christ. Trying
to save a relationship that isn’t in God’s destiny for us conveys to heaven and
everything beneath it that we don’t believe in the power of our Father’s love.
Let’s not do that. Instead, our first concern should be to do everything we
possibly can to save our relationship with God. We should show Him that we
believe in His promises and that we trust the wonderful future He has in store
for our lives. ■
Scripture quotations
marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright ©
1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois
60189. All rights reserved.
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