You Don’t Have to be Afraid to Love

 

“Persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed.”
2 Corinthians 4:9(NLT)

A sister-friend called me this week about her brother’s marriage. The conversation didn’t start off talking about him, but after a while, it ended up there. It seems her brother and his wife have major arguments every few months, and at the end of each argument they both tend to bring up the thought of ending their marriage. My friend said, “If they truly loved each other, they wouldn’t say those things every time. It can’t be real love.” 

I’ve heard many folks say that you don’t have real love if you’re not willing to be vulnerable, and this vulnerability means that sometimes your heart will get hurt. We need look no further than our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ as an example of what love endures. 1Corinithans 13:4-7(NLT) tells us, “4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” This is exactly how Christ loved everyone, despite the reality that he was hated and treated horribly by the very folks he came to save.

The love that is expressed in this passage isn’t what we commonly label in modern life as ‘falling in love’, because logic tells us that if you can fall IN love with someone, you can fall OUT of with them. So this falling in love business feels really nice, but it doesn’t have enough glue to build longevity in a relationship. 1Corinithans 13:4-7 is speaking about the love of God lived out through the Spirit of Jesus Christ.

This love is way more than a feeling. It is the very foundation that we build our lives on. All of us are what we are, and we are where we are in life, because God has poured His love on each of us. We would be nothing without His love. Human beings have done some terrible things. We are not as thoughtful and compassionate to one another as we should be, and we are no where near as thankful to God as we should be for all He has done for us. But even though we fall short, He never stops loving us.

God never punishes us or wants us to feel bad about ourselves. His love never ends and in Romans 8:36-37, He tells us that overwhelming victory is ours, and that nothing can separate us from His love. I’m no expert but I believe in what the Word of God says about love – that real love is loving without fear that someone won’t love you back or that they might leave you. We can love like this when we make Jesus Christ the head of our lives and continually chose to let him steer us.

Relationships requires quite a bit of sacrifice. If you’re telling someone that you love them but every time you’re faced with a dilemma or problem, you go for the jugular and start talking about leaving, that’s a red flag. It doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t real for the other person, but it does mean that an injection of the love of Christ is needed. We need to invite Christ into our hearts so that he can work within us. This can be a process that takes time, and some of us are not patient enough to work through it. We allow the anger in us to continue to boil over in arguments, and if the other partner is doing the same thing, that’s a no-win situation.

Understand that a person can never be on the losing side when they are committed to let the love of Jesus Christ grow and swell in their hearts. 1John 4:18 reminds us that there is absolutely no fear in a Christ-kind of love. In truth, his love will cast out fear. Even when you might be stressing over what’s happening, if you will sacrifice your need to be right or have the last word, and invite Jesus Christ to take the lead, you can actually aid God’s healing process.

If we’re in a relationship with someone that has our best interest at heart and isn’t causing us harm, we don’t have to be afraid to love them or that we will damage the relationship somehow. But we absolutely must study God’s Word and learn to love through Christ. This will always be the greatest step to help our relationships. It will deepen our faith in God as we witness the power of His love. It will help us grow spiritually. Most importantly, it will help our partners have confidence that we can be trusted, even when they are the most vulnerable with their hearts. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“You Don’t Have to Be Afraid to Love”, written by Kim for https://rescuefromdomesticviolence.blogspot.com© 2020. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.