“He was a man that I trusted — someone I thought would have my back for the rest of my life. How did I miss the signs?”
Many women have asked themselves that same question. Some of my dearest friends have come to me heartbroken, wondering how the person they loved changed so drastically. They describe men who were once attentive, loving, and committed — until suddenly they weren’t. Some became distant. Some walked away. Others betrayed their vows. The pain of that kind of shift cuts deep, especially when it seems to have come out of nowhere. You’re left stunned. Replaying the past, you ask yourself repeatedly if there were warning signs you somehow overlooked.
Were there signs? And if there were, why didn’t you recognize them?
2 Corinthians 4:4 (NLT) gives us a clue: “Satan, who is the god of this world, has blinded the minds of those who don’t believe. They are unable to see the glorious light of the Good News. They don’t understand this message about the glory of Christ, who is the exact likeness of God.” Blinding the mind is one of the enemy’s oldest tactics. He uses distraction and deception to shift our focus away from the light of Christ — even among believers if we’re not fully armored in God’s truth. The goal is simple: to divide what God has joined and to weaken what was meant to be strong.
The Enemy’s Distraction
Through every relationship that God ordains, His desire is unity — a divine cord of love that strengthens generations. The devil despises that unity. He will do whatever he can to cut the cord of connection between husband and wife, or even between two people who were meant to reflect the love of Christ. God doesn’t want us to be ignorant of this.
Our Heavenly Father never changes, and His standards never shift. He has designed everything in the universe to respond favorably to His Word. So when we take our eyes off Jesus, we open the door for things to unravel. Matthew 6:33 (NLT) reminds us, “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need.” When we put anything else above Him — even love, even marriage — blessings begin to subtract.
But this truth isn’t meant to condemn us. It’s meant to realign us. It’s a loving reminder of how closely we must guard our relationship with our Heavenly Father.
When Marriage Feels Misaligned
Even within marriage, we can sometimes miss the signs because our hearts and minds are out of alignment with the level of spiritual growth and maturity should be achieving. It’s possible that your spouse is reacting to a change in you that you haven’t noticed. When we become too comfortable, prayer slips. Meditation becomes occasional. Our communion with God weakens. And what happens in the spiritual often mirrors in the natural. When we neglect our relationship with the Father, the intimacy within our marriage can start to unravel too. That strong cord that once held firm begins to fray.
The good news is, the solution is always in Jesus Christ. If you’ve lost sight of unity, refocus your heart. Seek God diligently in prayer. Ask Him to restore the foundation and reweave the cord of love through the power of His Spirit.
Sometimes the signs were there — we just couldn’t see them. But even when blindness, pain, or distraction caused us to miss what God was showing us, His grace still waits to restore. God can open our eyes again. He can realign hearts that have drifted and bring healing where hurt once lived. ■
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