Overcoming the Hurt of Betrayal

 

Difficulties and painful circumstances are facts of life for everyone, but for a wife coping with the pain of your husband’s infidelity, it can feel unbearable. The effects of betrayal can leave you so shaken and traumatized that getting out of bed feels like climbing a mountain, and making it through the day becomes a fight to survive. I’ve had both the privilege and the responsibility to be a compassionate ear, a confidant, and a prayer partner for many women going through this exact heartbreak. And let’s be real—this kind of wound cuts deep. It strikes at the very core of who you are as a woman, a partner, and a believer. But as devastating as it is, there are also sacred revelations hidden in this level of pain. God wants to uncover some things in us and for us—and we can’t afford to overlook them.

Pain is not our natural state. It was introduced into this world through disobedience to God’s Word. The enemy—the architect of pain—will always try to use the things we hold most dear as darts aimed straight at the most vulnerable parts of who we are. Sometimes the hit is so direct and brutal, it leaves us stunned and spiritually paralyzed in ways we never saw coming. The ache can be nauseating, even gnawing, like something eating away at our soul piece by piece. And in those moments, it’s not unusual to find ourselves whispering through the tears, “God, why did You allow this?”

But here’s what you’ve got to hold on to—there is no pain so dark, so ugly, or so deep that the love of God can’t reach down and grab hold of you. Betrayal might leave you feeling like you’re drowning in a place too far gone, but His love doesn’t back down from the hard stuff. Romans 8:38-39 (NLT) puts it plain: “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love… neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.” So even if your heart feels like it’s barely hanging on, and your faith is running on fumes—God’s love is still right there. And it’s strong enough to start mending the pieces you thought would stay shattered forever.

Pain is not the best teacher, because its lessons are harsh. However, as difficult and hurtful as life can be at times, it is nothing like the pain and hurt that our Lord and Savior endured on the cross for our sakes. This is a very important truth that our pain reveals. It allows us to have confidence that Jesus Christ understands our broken hearts, because Hebrews 4:15 (NLT) tells us, “This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testing's we do, yet he did not sin.” Not only do we have a Savior and Lord who understands our pain, he tells us to bring it to him, and he will bear the load of it.

The standard of love that God has set is personified in Christ. We are the bride of Christ, and he is our bridegroom. He loves us so much, and his passion is to care for us and support us in every way. We make mistakes and we get hurt, but even in the middle of our disappointment we have to remember that we are the light of Christ. The pain we may experience feels very dark and heavy, but we will overcome and shine forth through the power of the Holy Spirit that indwells us.

A woman once told me that when she first started dating her husband, something in her soul felt off. Every time they met up, she couldn’t shake this quiet feeling like something wasn’t quite right. But he treated her so well—kind, attentive, thoughtful. Over time, she fell in love with him. They got married. And now, years later, she’s sitting in the pain of betrayal. He stepped out on their marriage, and along with the heartbreak came this deep regret. She said, “I feel like I’m hurting even more because I ignored what I knew deep down.”

God’s heart is never for us to sit around drowning in self-condemnation. That’s not His way. When we ask for forgiveness, it’s not about jumping through hoops—it’s about showing humility and showing reverence and honor for His perfection and grace. Forgiveness aligns us. It brings us back into right standing with God and clears the way for us to receive more of His wisdom and instruction. That’s why 1 John 1:9 tells us, “But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.” That cleansing isn’t just about guilt—it’s about freedom.

Truth is, most of us have taken that same kind of risk. We’ve gone all in on love, because something in us wants to believe that when love is real, when it’s right—it’s worth everything. And honestly? That kind of hope isn’t something to be ashamed of. We don’t need to condemn ourselves for loving hard. But what we do need is to take all of that—the regret, the heartbreak, the questions—and bring it to the Father. Let Him teach us how to better guard our hearts—not by shutting down, but by walking in discernment. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” That’s not a warning to fear love. It’s wisdom to help us love well.

If you’ve been betrayed—whether by your husband or someone you truly gave your heart to—know this: you are more than a conqueror through Christ. This pain won’t take you out. You will overcome, but not in your own strength—in His. Jesus never promised us a life free of heartbreak or tribulation. He said it would come. But He also told us to press through, to endure, to stand strong in Him. In John 16:33 (NLT), He said, “Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” That means we don’t have to fake strength—He gives it to us.

The bottom line is that no matter how you ended up broken—whether it was through betrayal, disappointment, or decisions you now regret—God still heals. Through Christ, you will come out of this. It won’t always hurt like it does right now. The same God who walks with you through the fire will bring you out refined, not ruined. And when you look back, you’ll see that the pain didn’t have the final word—God did. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Overcoming the Hurt of Betrayal”, written by Kim for https://rescuefromdomesticviolence.blogspot.com© 2025. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.