Battling the War Within

 

Ecclesiastes 7:9-10 (NIV)
“9 Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.10 Do not say, ‘Why were the old days better than these?”

When the world chews you up and spits you out, the emotional impact can be devastating—you feel it from all sides. At the start of the year, Agnes never saw this coming. She rang in the New Year with her fiancé, happier and more optimistic about their future together than ever. Yet just two months later, she found herself standing in a courtroom, ordered to attend anger management classes for domestic violence.

“I’ve never had a problem with anger—I never even got in trouble in school,” she said.

I sympathized with her as we spoke on the phone, but I also recognized that the consequence of hitting her fiancé was only surface-level evidence of a much deeper, unresolved issue. We often stuff emotions away, convincing ourselves they no longer matter, and when they finally surface, we’re shocked by the damage they can cause.

Too often, our expectations for relationships are shaped more by societal standards than by God’s truth. Anytime we deviate from His Word, we create an opening for the enemy to do what he does best—steal, kill, and destroy. The enemy wants nothing more than to tear apart our unions, and when our relationships aren’t aligned with God’s standard, we give him room to sow confusion and discord.

When unmet expectations collide with unresolved anger, we become vulnerable to a kind of imprisonment that stunts our growth and blocks our blessings. Agnes’ anger toward her verbally abusive father had been quietly brewing for years. Though he had mellowed with age, she had never forgiven him. She refused to speak to him or be in his presence, and even the thought of hearing his voice stirred emotions she wasn’t ready to face. He had mistreated her mother and eventually left her for another woman, and Agnes vowed she would never tolerate anything even remotely close to that from a man.

One night, while she and her fiancé were having dinner at her home, he received a phone call. He ended it quickly but didn’t immediately explain who it was from or what it was about. It wasn’t another woman—but from the look on her face, he knew that’s exactly what she feared. At first, he was amused by her jealousy and even toyed with it a bit. To Agnes, however, this was no joke. An argument erupted, her anger spiraled out of control, and by the end of the night, she was headed to the police station in handcuffs.

James 1:19 (NLT) reminds us: “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” It’s possible to build a solid foundation in a relationship, only to have it ripped apart by unchecked anger. There can be rage buried deep within our souls, and if we refuse to confront it through prayer and the renewing of our minds with God’s Word, we risk allowing the enemy to steal what is most precious to us.

The Apostle Paul writes in Romans 7:22–23 (NLT): “I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me.” The “other power” Paul describes is made up of cravings, habit patterns, and inner tendencies that undermine our faith and disrupt our walk with God. These are the issues that cause us to act in ways that shock even ourselves. They surface when we least expect it, and overcoming them is part of the war within.

Our Heavenly Father never intended for us to fight these battles alone—because we can’t. We desperately need His help, and humbling ourselves to follow His guidance is one of the wisest decisions we can make.

When dealing with unresolved anger, we must allow God’s love to enter those wounded places. Proverbs 3:6 (NLT) assures us, “Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” This is His promise. God knows relationships are difficult and require much from us, but He is faithful to guide us through the hard places if we are willing to ask and obey.

Many followers of Christ are like Agnes—some have been fighting wars within themselves for most of their lives. But it’s time to give it all to God. Release what no longer serves you: anger, resentment, and buried pain only weigh us down. They prevent us from reaching the place where we think, speak, and live like Christ.

This should be the goal of every believer—to follow His example and walk in His love and light. God’s wisdom, paired with faith in Him, saves us from a life of regret. Decide to trust that God can heal your heart, even in its deepest places. When we surrender our struggles to Him, He is faithful to bring restoration and peace, shaping us more fully into the image of Christ and drawing us into the fullness of His grace and love. ■

Scripture taken from the New International Version®, copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved.”

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Battling the War Within”, written by Kim for https://rescuefromdomesticviolence.blogspot.com© 2025. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.