Battling the War Within

 

Ecclesiastes 7:9-10 (NIV)
“9 Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.10 Do not say, ‘Why were the old days better than these?”

When the world chews you up and spits you out, the emotional impact can be devastating, and you feel it from all sides. At the start of the year, Agnes never saw this coming. She rang in the New Year with her fiancé, feeling happier and more optimistic about their future together than ever. But just two months later, she finds herself standing in a courtroom, being ordered to attend anger management classes for domestic violence.

“I’ve never had a problem with anger – I never even got in trouble in school,” she said. I sympathized with her while we talked on the phone, but I also recognized that her consequence for hitting her fiancé in the face was just the surface-level evidence of a much deeper, unresolved issue. We stuff these emotions away, and when they come to the surface, we’re shocked.

Often, our expectations for relationships are based more on societal standards than on God’s standard. Anytime we deviate from His truth, we’re going to present an opening for the enemy to come in and do what he does: steal, kill, and destroy. The enemy wants nothing more than to destroy our unions, and if we don’t align our relationships with God’s Word, we give room for the enemy to sow seeds of confusion and discord.

When our unmet expectations are mixed with unresolved anger issues, we’re primed for a kind of imprisonment that blocks our growth and blessings. Agnes’ anger towards a verbally abusive father was brewing beneath the surface. Even though he had mellowed in his older years, Agnes hadn’t forgiven him and had refused to be in his company or speak to him the last several years. The thought of hearing his voice made her feel emotions that she wasn’t ready to confront. He had mistreated her mother and eventually left her for another woman. Agnes vowed to herself that she would never tolerate anything anywhere near that from a man.

One night when she and her fiancée were having dinner at her place, he received a phone call. He cut it very short but didn’t mention who it was or what it was about immediately after. It wasn’t another woman, but he could tell by the look on her face that she thought it might be. Initially, he was amused by her jealousy and toyed with it a little, but to Agnes, this was no joking matter. An argument ensued. Her anger escalated uncontrollably and landed her a ride to the police station in cuffs.

James 1:19 (NLT) tells us: “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” We need to know that it’s possible to build a solid foundation in our relationships, only to have it ripped to shreds by anger. There is sometimes rage beneath the surface in our souls, and if we refuse to confront it through prayer and renewing our minds to God’s Word, we might allow the enemy to steal what is most precious to us. 

The Apostle Paul said in Romans 7:22-23 (NLT): “22 I love God’s law with all my heart. 23 But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me.” The other power that Paul speaks about in this verse is the cravings, habit patterns, and tendencies that undermine our faith and relationship with God. These are the issues that cause us to behave and do things that shock us. They come out when we least expect it and overcoming them is the war within. Our Heavenly Father doesn’t intend for us to battle all of them on our own, because we can’t. We desperately need His help and humbling ourselves to follow His guidance is the very best thing that we can do. 

With unresolved anger, we need to allow the love of God in those wounded places. He tells us in Proverbs 3:6 (NLT) to “Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” This is His promise to us. He knows that relationships are not easy, and they require so much from us, but He will help us navigate the tough parts if we will ask and obey His direction and guidance. 

Many followers of Christ are like Agnes – some have battled wars within themselves for most of their life. But it’s time to give it all to God. Release what you have no use for – bad feelings, anger, resentment, are all emotions that weigh us down. They prevent us from getting to the place where we actually speak, think and behave like Christ. This should be the goal of every believer, to follow his example and live by his love and light. God’s wisdom and having faith in Him is what saves us from a life of regret. Decide to trust that God can heal your heart, even in those deep places. When we surrender our struggles to Him, He is faithful to bring restoration and peace, helping us to grow more into the image of Christ and experience the fullness of His grace and love. ■

Scripture taken from the New International Version®, copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved.”

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Battling the War Within”, written by Kim for https://rescuefromdomesticviolence.blogspot.com© 2025. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.