Let Them Go and Wish Them Well

Colossians 2:10(NLT) “And ye are complete in Him, which is the head of all principality and power.”

A young woman said to me, “I’ve been hurt before, but this came out of nowhere - I give up!” We had a long conversation, and she talked over an hour about her despair regarding the break-up with her boyfriend. They’d been together for two and a half years, and she thought he was the one. She thought they’d spend the rest of their lives together. To her shock and dismay, he broke it off with her during a phone call, and it was totally unexpected. There were no arguments or disagreements, he just very calmly told her that he wasn’t ready for a commitment with her. He realized he still had feelings for his ex-wife. The emotional pain from this was devastating, but the other thing that surprised her was how it had caused her to repeatedly question her decisions and self-worth. She doesn’t think she’ll have the courage to love again. 

There are things about ourselves that we don’t realize until we go through certain challenges in life. For some of us, these hiccups may not come until later in life, and for some, they come much earlier. But it doesn’t matter when we experience them, the most difficult hiccups to get over emotionally will probably be in the form of heartbreak. As women that love the Lord and that endeavor to walk in the example of Christ, we should hold ourselves to a greater standard of love. Unfortunately, some of us think that loving someone means that we should abandon certain aspects of firmness and stability. We have a difficult time determining when to stand firm on certain principles and when to be vulnerable.

Vulnerability in a relationship is necessary for it to flourish, and this is where many of us get into trouble. This kind of vulnerability should be reserved for those who honor us and honor our standing in Christ. But sometimes, we don’t wait for a green light from God. We don’t know what we’re working with, but assume the man is a blessing simply because he’s interested in us and we’re interested in him. In Matthew 6:33, Jesus Christ commands us to seek the Kingdom of God above all other things, and God will give us all that we need. This verse assures us that God is our Provider. He takes care of all that we need. It also tells us that we must meet the condition of seeking God first. Nothing or no one comes before this extremely beneficial and crucial spiritual practice.

The wisdom of Matthew 6:33 means that we are to consult God before we make life-changing decisions and choices; this is especially necessary when it comes to our significant relationships. James 1:5 tells us that if we lack wisdom about any subject, we must ask God, and He will not be upset with us for asking Him. As a matter of truth, He desires that we consult Him in all that we do. Proverbs 3:6 says that He, and He alone, is the One who directs our paths. God doesn’t overstep our free-will choice. He will not come into our lives and start controlling everything without our permission. We must ask Him to take control, and we must humble ourselves under His mighty hand and follow His guidance and direction.

God leads, guides, and directs us through His Word and through His Spirit. While reading His Word, a scripture might jump out at us, giving us God’s divine revelation. Sometimes, He places people in our lives that will speak the truth prophetically to us. Others of us have dreams and other confirmations that provide God’s guidance. God knows us through and through, and He knows exactly how to get our attention, but we must be humble, and show ourselves willing to obey the direction He provides. 

We often translate being vulnerable in a relationship with someone we really care about as putting everything we are into that relationship. We give it our all, and we think this person will return our investment. Subconsciously or consciously, we think this person can complete us in some way. Colossians 2:10 reminds us that our completeness and wholeness comes from Jesus Christ. He is the living Word of God, and God’s Word is the only solid foundation that exists. This is what we should be clinging to. We should never lose focus on our relationship with God. We should never abandon our firm foundation in Christ by completely wrapping ourselves in another individual.

The young woman asked me, “Can God keep a man from breaking your heart?” God has the power to do absolutely anything, but again, He will never overstep an individual’s freedom of will. He will not stop a man from breaking our hearts, just as He didn’t stop us from pursuing the relationship with this man. God will quicken us through His Spirit, and He will guide us in His love and Word. It is important for us to know that we should never be controlled in any way by another person’s love. They didn’t create us and they can’t complete us. Being loving doesn’t require us to lose ourselves. When Christ is the love of our lives, our confidence in him won’t allow us to walk around with a fear of getting hurt. We should be walking in him, so that we have sharp discernment about someone that isn’t destined to walk with us through life.

The lesson to be learned from heartbreak and heartache is always about trusting God in a greater way and seeing His love in a greater light. Our Heavenly Father will never break our hearts, and we should be continually confident and thankful for His enduring, unconditional, and powerful love. Yes, heartache feels awful, but it shouldn’t linger for too long. Sometimes the man will not or cannot love us the way we’d like. If that’s the case, we should let them go, and wish them well. They were not meant to journey forward with us. God has a great plan for our lives. Trust this, because our love for Christ will not fail us. It will strengthen our hearts, so we will receive the greenlight from God and recognize when the right person has come into our lives.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Let Them Go and Wish Them Well”, written by Kim for https://rescuefromdomesticviolence.blogspot.com© 2020. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.