So Shall the Sun Rise

Matthew 5:44 NIV; But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven.  He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.

This verse in the Bible may illustrate to you one of the most difficult acts that our loving Lord and Savior acts us to do.  He not only says to love the ones that would love to see you at your worst but he tells us to pray for them. Why? Because we are children of God.  As His children, we have just that much capacity within us to dig deep enough within our hearts to go the extra mile and pray for those that persecute us.  

And for the record, we’re not talking about the person behind the register that gave you a dirty look – we’re talking about the very person in your life that you go home to. God wants you to have the kind of heart to be forgiving to the person that may be causing you the most hurt in your life.  God loves them too - toHeavenly Father, they deserve His love just as much as we do. 

I can remember the first time my ex-husband put his hands on me.  My husband is 6’0, 200lbs of all muscle. He had the biggest hands I’d ever seen on a man, so the thought of challenging him against my 5’2” frame was just Ludacris, but I did it anyway. I woke up on the bathroom floor with an excruciating sore throat and the worst headache I’d ever had in my life, because he’d choked me until I passed out.  I had nothing but hate in my heart and thoughts of wanting someone to do anything to get him out of my life.

So, to read in God’s Word that we should love our enemies and pray for them too…huh, this was unimaginable to me for a very long time.  Even years after my divorce from him, I still couldn’t bring myself to pray for someone that caused me just that much hurt and pain.  And every time, I read this verse, I thought to myself, I still must have a very long way to go because I still can’t bring myself to pray for him.

It took years, but it finally hit me one day that the only way I can be delivered is to trust God enough with my heart to the point that I believed God would always have my back, no matter what I went through.  After years of seeking God to heal my heart, I was finally able to pray for my ex-husband. 

None of us are perfect and all of us have room for improvement.  I encourage you to never settle within yourself that your love can’t go that deep.  If God says you can do it, you definitely have it within yourself to love deeper than you can ever imagine. And with that deep love comes an even deeper acknowledgement and acceptance that God loves you enough to forgive you for all of your wrong doings as well. 

If there is someone in your life that has done you harm, or have spoken negative words over your life – don’t hold it against them. It’s not them that you wrestle against – it’s the spiritual powers in high places that govern their actions.  You have the capacity to pray for those that persecute you.  You’re much stronger and more tenacious than you think.

There’s Always Another Solution

1 Peter 5:9(NLT)

Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your Christian brothers and sisters all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering you are.

When you’re in a relationship with a partner that tears you down with every breath you take, you don’t think anyone can understand what you’re going through. You feel so isolated, but don’t kid yourself into thinking you’re alone in feeling this way – You’re not!

Weeks turn into months, and before you realize it, years go by. Suddenly you wake up and realize there’s another solution to the problem you’ve been dealing with for so long. Do we have to spend years in a miserable situation, thinking there is no other way? The answer is ‘no’. Through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, there is always a solution, and it doesn’t have to take years of being miserable to find it. The answer to our problems will always be found in him. But our issue is that we don’t always seek him as we should. 

In Hosea 4:6, God tells us that His people are destroyed because they lack knowledge; they actually rejected knowledge about Him. People today are much the same way. We love God, but we don’t pick up His Word nearly as often as we should. Some people say they don’t read the bible because they don’t understand what they read. That might have worked twenty years ago as an excuse, but it doesn’t hold water today. There are too many easily understood versions of the bible out there, so no one can justifiably complain that they can’t understand God’s Word. We use our cell phones so much that they have become an extension of our hands. Through them, we can access the internet and on-line biblical resources in the blink of an eye. 

If we get right down to it, many of us don’t believe God will solve our problems, and truth be told, sometimes we don’t want Him too. We want to figure things out on our own, because we don’t want to be forced to make a change. As chaotic as our lives are, there’s something about them that makes us comfortable. 

I listened to a woman the other day share her personal story of finally having the courage to get out of a scary situation. She’s 45 years old with a thirteen-year old son that she shares with her ex-boyfriend. They talked about getting married early on, but never took that walk down the aisle. She shared that shortly after having their son, her boyfriend’s fits of anger and rage became her new normal. It took her many years to finally decide that she and her son deserved a better life, and for her to take the steps to make it happen. It wasn’t a good situation, but she stayed in it for thirteen years. 

She’s not alone. There are many women who have spent most of their adult lives being abused in some way. But there are also thousands upon thousands of women that have been in abusive marriages and relationships, and they have made the steps towards the healing and wholeness that Christ offers. The first step is to know that God loves you and wants you in a good situation. The second is to know that it is possible through Christ to leave the person that constantly tears you down. 

Domestic violence and abuse is about someone in a relationship taking the power of the other partner. To get your power back, you may need to build up your courage. The greatest way to build courage and strength is through learning about Jesus Christ. He tells us in Matthew 11:28-30(NIV), “28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” The Word of God is a spiritual book for spiritual people. It is rich with God’s wisdom and it is life to our souls. The more we read and study it, the more our eyes and hearts will be opened. We will be encouraged and strengthened as we learn to walk in the power of God and allow it to transform us and changes our lives. 

There’s always another solution. You don’t have to be in a bad situation year after year, but you will have to be courageous. You must trust God and have faith that He will lead and guide you every step of the way. Stay in His Word. It will build your faith as God shows you a way out.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

New International Version (NIV)
Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

“There’s Always Another Solution”, written by Kim for https://rescuefromdomesticviolence.blogspot.com© 2020. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.

Should I Stay When He Cheats?

“For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.” Ephesians 5:25(NLT)

Would you stay in a relationship if you found out your spouse or significant other had cheated? Don’t answer too quick – search the scriptures on the matter, because if you’ve never gone through it then your answer could possibly surprise you. 

Out of the blue, a close friend asked me, if by chance, I found out that my spouse was cheating, would I continue to stay in the relationship. I didn’t hesitate to answer with a resounding “NO!” He quickly said to me, “Kim, you say ‘no’ because you’re not in the situation right now, but when you’re married with children, the answer doesn’t come that easily.” After giving this some thought, spiritual maturity begs us to make sure we have a forgiving heart, and that we always, regardless of our pain, seek God for the best course of action.

Many women are hurting today, at this very moment, and the reason they’re in so much pain is because their hearts have been broken by someone they love. A few years ago, my pastor taught about deliverance from a broken heart.  What resonated so deeply was understanding that when our hearts are broken, the ultimate take-away is always going to be the lesson our hurt teaches us about ourselves and about our relationship with God.   

This truth stuck with me because there have been times when hurt has come my way, and if I’m honest, I was baffled as to why Heavenly Father didn’t prevent it. I was utterly devastated, and I didn’t understand why God had allowed me to experience such despair, especially by the person who claimed to care about me. It wasn’t that I had mastered the art of relationships and thought I was untouchable, but I thought at least I knew enough to dodge a bullet when it came to getting my heart broken again. I was wrong. 

Sometimes, the significant people we love are not meant to journey with us any further. They are not the person we should marry and spend the rest of our lives with. We try to cling to them, but their destiny is on another path. We should allow ourselves a little time to grieve, and then get ready to proceed onward and upward in Christ. The only way to really do this is to learn the lesson about the love of Christ that this person has revealed to us.  

When a spouse has betrayed the marriage vow, it is a very different situation than when someone that isn’t a spouse cheats and goes outside the relationship. Because marriage is God’s institution, if the spouse that has cheated desires forgiveness, and the Lord says so, anyone can be healed, and any relationship can be restored. But boy do we have to walk in wisdom and hear from God with this one. You don’t want to set yourself up to be repeatedly lied to and cheated on, but by the same token, you can’t play the victim and shift all the blame on the cheating spouse. We must at all times remember that God holds us accountable for our actions, and sometimes we’ve done things that caused our spouses to feel hurt and isolated as well. 

Relationships are challenging and there are complicated issues to deal with. Even before we go into marriage, God expects that we will have saturated our hearts and minds with His Word, so that we have the endurance and spiritual strength to weather storms. Many of us have not put on His whole armor, and we take that walk down the aisle without it. Then, when something happens and knocks the wind out of us, we are faced with a situation that requires more faith than we’ve cultivated. 

Ephesians 5:25(NLT) says, “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.” This is not some abstract concept. It’s God’s standard for the way a man should love and treat his wife. Jesus Christ said in Luke 12:48 that to whom much is given much is required. So, if a man loves his wife the way Christ loves the church, she has a responsibility to make sure she reciprocates it; her actions must be deserving of this kind of love. Considering this, the very best course of action when cheating rears its ugly head is to come to an agreement together to seek the Lord. Both spouses must have humility and be willing to rededicate themselves towards making Jesus Christ the center of their marriage, and every step they take together must be guided by the Spirit. ■

 Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Should I Stay When He Cheats”, written by Kim for https://rescuefromdomesticviolence.blogspot.com© 2020. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.

Love Is Much More Than You Think

1 John 2:15(NLT) “Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you.”

When you love someone and this person causes you harm, the hurt can feel like nothing else you’ve ever experienced.  And yet, some have said that not loving someone with your whole heart is much more painful. We are brought up to believe that our lives should revolve around the person we fall for. Most of us want this for ourselves, but when I was in my twenties, wanting to love someone and to be loved by them was followed by pain and devastating heartbreak repeatedly. I wanted so badly to break the cycle, but I didn’t have a clue how to do it.

1John 2:15 tells us not to love this world or the things it offers. Often, we meet individuals that are not good for our lives, but it’s something about them that makes our hearts swoon. We feel a connection, and we allow this person into our hearts without consulting Heavenly Father. We leap before we look, and this can be a very dangerous thing.

Someone said, “You can’t help who you fall in love with.” If that is the case, why are we all not falling madly in love with our Creator. He is the only One who deserves our whole hearts, yet, most people do not even acknowledge Him. God has given us free-will choice. We can and should help who we fall in love with. This is the piece of information that I needed to know to break the cycle of bad choices.

God has made us totally responsible and capable of making good judgments and sound decisions, but our trust must always be placed in Him. We should never make a person our everything, because they can never live up to that role. They are as imperfect as we are. Instead, we should seek the kind of relationship with Heavenly Father where His love swells in our hearts. When it does, not only will we be guided by His love, but He will teach us how to discern through His Spirit, so that we love smart.

Proverbs 27:19(NLT) tells us, “As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the real person.” A person will reveal to you their true essence in a short period of time. The question is whether you will have the discernment to recognize the voice of God telling you to walk away. Even if the person seems to check off the right boxes, they could be terribly bad for your life.

Love is so much more than we think. It is so much deeper than butterflies in our tummies and swooning in our heads. That stuff can be fun and makes the heart grow fonder, but make no mistake, the love of God in Christ is the treasure we must be aiming for. When asked what the greatest commandment is, Jesus Christ responded in Mark 12:30(NLT), “And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.'  God must be first in order for everything else in our lives to work. When we love Him the way we should, we will have all we need to love from a place of strength, courage, faith, and wisdom.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Love Is Much More Than You Think”, written by Kim for https://rescuefromdomesticviolence.blogspot.com© 2020. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.